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coming full circle

May 22, 2008

It’s been a week since graduation, and I’ve been doing some thinking about the blogging thing.

First of all, this blog was initially intended to be about my “journey” through this law school adventure—application, admission, and all three years of being educated. And now that’s done. Oh, yes, I still have the bar to take, and I suppose that should be part of this blog’s story, but beyond that, I just don’t know.

See, over time, this blog became less about law school and more about just me, and I’ve felt sort of ambivalent about that. But law school qua law school became less interesting—it began to seem that writing about going to class, writing a paper, taking a test, and fulfilling my journal duties was just not what I wanted to be doing. Moreover, writing about those things really risked my anonymity.

And that’s the other thing. Sure, I’ve never really been anonymous—I know several of my fellow law student bloggers in person, and they know me. But we all sort of follow the code: if my name isn’t on it, we don’t really talk about it. I get the occasional email, the passed-on meme, even a side remark every now and then, but for the most part, my fellow bloggers (and students) have not really outright acknowledged that I write this blog. And I like that. I know they’re there, reading, but I also know they’re keeping it quiet, following the code.

But then (and, sorry Mom), my mom found me. I don’t know how, and I don’t really care, but I knew she was reading, and the tone of things changed because, well, she wasn’t a fellow law school blogger, and she wasn’t even a fellow law student. She’s my mom, and this was never really a blog I intended to write for an audience that included my mom. That’s not to say any of it is mom-inappropriate, it’s just that knowing she was there, reading, did something to my writing. And maybe that was good—after all, this was, again, never intended to be a blog about my life. It was supposed to be about law school. It became about my life, and I think knowing my mom was reading it made me less inclined to write about my life, and so I started posting less because, remember, law school is boring, so I didn’t have much to write about. This blog really needed to be about law school all along, and it needs to go back to being about law school. ((I should note, too, that this forthcoming article from the NYTimes Magazine really says a lot about this topic that I think is valuable. Maybe my issue here is not the people who were/are reading my blog but just that I’ve gotten over this desire/need to expose myself. I’ve come to value my privacy a lot over the last few years where, I think in an earlier time of my life, I was much less circumspect about what I revealed about myself and to whom.))

Except that I’m not in law school any more. I graduated last week, with my family here to celebrate, and now I’m about to start my summer job and bar study, and take the bar, and then start my full-time job . . . what is there to write about? Sure, Bar/Bri will have lots of fodder for blog posts, so I suspect I’ll keep going till that ends, and probably till I take the bar. But after that? I can’t write about my summer job, since I’ll be representing actual clients; I can’t write about my full-time job that starts this fall for the same reason (and also because, hello, I need the job more than I need to be fired for blogging about my firm).

So I think this is an early goodbye. In a few months, this blog will probably be gone. If it’s not gone, it will be dramatically different in tone (I am sending my big paper out for publication, and I can see that that process might be interesting to write about). But at some point, there’s just not going to be anything going on in my life that I can write about—either because it’s work, or it’s personal. And that will be that.

I’m not saying I won’t blog any more—I like the idea of it and, often, I enjoy actually doing it. But I want to get back to blogging on my terms—when I have something to write about, when I want to write about it, and when it fits into what I’m doing here (or wherever I end up writing).

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Categories: meta
  1. butterflyfish
    May 22, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    I am going to link to this at my blog — basically, “I mean to say what she said, but she says it better.” In my case, change mom to husband, and graduate to rising 3L.

    But yeah, same story. I think many law school bloggers will empathize.

    Stick it through the bar prep — if reading other blogs has been any indication, its a little like 1L all over again, and prvides plenty of fodder.

  2. May 23, 2008 at 8:01 am

    You shouldn’t quit!! Your blog can change into a description of your life as a lawyer. That’s actually how mine started out, but like you, I’ve been blogging less about law. Mostly because I don’t want my employer to find out, but well. There’s still a lot to blog about!! I’d be sad if you quit…

  3. May 23, 2008 at 10:48 am

    There’s a place for a blog after law school. Look at me. I gave some serious thought to closing up shop after passing the bar, but it’s still serving the same purpose for me that it did when I started…keeping me sane.

  4. Kim
    May 23, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    Congratulations! Was that a fast three years, or what? It seems like just a couple of months ago that we were meeting for the first time in a coffee shop right after a blizzard. I have to say that I really hope you don’t stop writing…I would miss you more than I can say!

  5. May 30, 2008 at 3:09 pm

    I hope that you won’t entirely delete this if you do plan to no longer keep this blog in its current form. I cannot tell you how much I feel I have better prepared myself for 1L year after having read your archives, and I know I cannot possibly be alone in that.

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