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maybe a little more disclosure than i'm comfortable with

June 30, 2006

Today was supposed to be a good day. I had a bunch of stuff to do, but none of it needed to be done at school, so I could stay home and work. It’s finally sunny and not schizophrenically rainy-cloudy-sunny-cold-hot, so I hoped to get some sun. And we have a fun party to go to tonight.

So why was today NOT a good day?

1) I went to the roof to work and get some sun–just in shorts and a tank top, so I didn’t bother with sunscreen or a swimsuit. Within ten minutes I was being eaten alive by FLEAS. Back inside for me.

2) The work I am doing didn’t take me as long as I thought it would, so I spent the latter part of the afternoon struggling to fill my hours. Not that there’s not stuff to do, it’s just not the fun stuff. I had hoped the fun stuff would last a little longer.

3) I managed to piss of Mr. Angst. I didn’t mean to, and I’m still not sure why I reacted the way I did, when I pissed him off, but I don’t think any of that matters. So now we’re both unhappy and feeling off, and yet we still have this party to go to, and I am pretty sure the party is going to be no fun for either of us.

The day started out with such promise, and I don’t think I realized how edgy I was until I reacted to Mr. Angst (the Pissing Off Incident–the details of which would sound so ridiculous that no one would ever believe it was the cause of all this angst). I blew off a little steam–steam I didn’t know was building up–and I blew it off possibly in the wrong way. But usually when I pop off, I feel better afterward. I don’t now.

Honestly, I don’t know what’s going on with me. I just feel stupid and small and not right, and I don’t know how to change it.

Categories: just me
  1. June 30, 2006 at 8:29 pm

    aww, boo. but don’t skip the party! then, like, half of the people I know on the invite list won’t be there! maybe getting out of the house will help?

    (btw, there are bitey-things on my roof, too. I pegged them as No See-ums or biting midges or whatever you call them, but they could be fleas. I haven’t been back to my roof since last September as a result.)

  2. June 30, 2006 at 8:56 pm

    Oh, maybe they were midges or something. First time I’ve had any problems with them, so maybe they don’t like sunscreen. Sigh.

    And the party is still a go. Things are better. See you there!

  3. PG
    July 3, 2006 at 12:22 pm

    I don’t think fleas or midges are a problem, but mosquitos are a serious menace this summer. I was *scratching myself* while talking to my employers at an outdoor event — not good.

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