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well that was a waste of mental energy

January 23, 2006

All that deep thought about big firms vs. small firms, about what kind of options each would give me, turns out to have been wasted. No, I didn’t put all my eggs in the two baskets I was looking at (last Friday’s interview and the OCI interview) but I was very excited about them, very excited about getting to shine.

Well, Friday’s firm called me today to tell me that they really liked me (they really, really liked me!) but that they had only a few slots for 1Ls and, therefore, could not extend me an offer. OK. Not a great big shock–though certainly not a fun thing to hear.

But wait! It gets better. This afternoon I received an email, stating that my OCI firm was cancelling all of its interviews with 1Ls because they were recently acquired by another firm (another firm which, presumably, has already hired its summer 2006 class).

So now I’m back to square one. Sure, I’ve sent out some resumes and cover letters to other firms, but mostly out of fear of being behind the game. I sent stuff to firms that might not be of interest to me, simply to get off my ass with the whole job search thing. And that was probably not such a bad idea. But I am still back at square one, now, with no upcoming interviews–and no job offers.

I’m disappointed. Sure, undoubtedly, I’ll look back on this moment some time in the future and realize how silly it was for me to dwell on my disappointment. I’m pretty sure I’ll get a job of some kind. But right now, I feel kind of sad. All that energy I was putting into researching my OCI firm was wasted. The firms I’ve sent stuff to aren’t necessarily firms I want to work for. I have no idea what I want to do this summer. Angst! Angst! Angst!

So I’m picking my ego up, dusting it off, and reminding myself that two rejections in one day (essentially) doesn’t reflect on ME, personally.

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Categories: 1L: job search
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