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and just like that, it's over

November 22, 2005

I had my last Contracts class this morning and now it’s hitting me. It’s hard to believe that the semester is almost over. I have one more class today, two classes tomorrow, and two more next week. And that’s it. That’s all she wrote.

I was talking about this end-of-semester funk with a friend of mine the other day. I mentioned that I wasn’t close to being done with my outlines or even to really having a sort of global grasp on all of our classes, yet despite that I had almost no drive left. She nodded and said, “Yep. I’m done, too.”

And that sums it up. There’s a lot of work left to be done, but I am so done. I’m fighting right now with the powerful urge to say, “Screw it! I know enough to fall in the middle of our very flat and generous curve.” A small voice deep inside–a more responsible and far-sighted voice, I might add–responds with the reminder that there are only a few weeks left in the semester, and if I drive myself to exhaustion I could cross the finish line ahead of the pack.

Neither voice is right, of course. If I flog myself mercilessly to finish with the same drive I started with, fine–but it won’t guarantee I’ll end up on top. Nor is it true that blowing off these last few classes in favor of getting my outlines done–and a few more hours of sleep a night–means I’ll end up at the bottom.

To a certain extent, though, even law school grades are governed by that old equation, “Garbage In = Garbage Out.” So I have to know SOMETHING. The question at this point is “How much?” Where is the line between extra work that won’t help and you should have studied that a little more closely, you idiot? I don’t know where the line is. My intuition suggests that, if my brain is turning to mush from lack of sleep, I’ve probably done too much; but if I have the time to watch the rest of Buffy, Season 1, I’m doing too little.

All of this seems particularly pertinent right now, since I am exhausted. I could not go to sleep last night; I tossed and turned and didn’t drop off until a good two hours after my normal bedtime. The way I feel right now only underscores how badly my body reacts to less-than-adequate rest. Thank goodness I don’t have my early class tomorrow.

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Categories: 1L
  1. November 23, 2005 at 8:10 am

    Hooray for being done with contracts!! Think of how far you’ve come from the kid with the hairy hand…You know more than you think you know!

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