Fitzy and Milby—they’re the cheesiest!
1. What’s your favorite cheese?
That’s a mean question to ask. What if I hurt some cheese’s feelings? I don’t want to make any of them feel bad.
Plus, every cheese is good for something different. Homemade margarita pizza? Fresh mozarella, of course. Grilled cheese sammiches? Shredded sharp cheddar. Cocktail food? Brie baked in pastry, or cream cheese smothered with raspberry chipotle salsa. Meatball subs? Provolone. I could go on, but you get the picture.
Wait…I get it. This was a TRICK question. Nope, not gonna fall for whatever trick you’re trying to pull. I like ALL cheese. Do you hear me, Cheese Gods? I like it ALL!
2. Cheesy movie: If you were in Top Gun, what would your call sign be?
Whiz Kid? Shorty McFlies Fast? I could never really have a callsign; my vision is too bad and they’d never let me NEAR a cockpit. Hee hee. I said cockpit.
3. Big cheese: Tell us a boss story — best boss, worst boss, a time when you were the boss, etc.
I plead the fifth. You realize this is my last day of work, right? Like I’d actually talk about bosses on my last day of work. Karma, man, karma.
4. Say cheese: Are you a photobug? Are you photogenic? Or, in 1000 words or less, tell us about your best picture.
I like to take pictures, but I am not very good at it. I am fairly photogenic, but only if I’m prepared for the picture. I’m not usually prepared, so there are scads of photos out there of me with my mouth open or my tongue sticking out. I don’t know what my best picture was; my wedding pictures were pretty beautiful, but so was my high school graduation photo. Sometimes, you just get lucky.
5. Just cheesy: What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve ever used, or had used on you? Did it work?
I don’t use pickup lines. Of course, I don’t have to, I’m married. Worst line ever used on me? Hell, I don’t know. I think I heard all the really bad ones back in my single days. I do remember being at a bar with my best friend once and some guy started hitting on her. After he’d been talking to her for a few minutes, he pulled a piece of ice out of his drink and started sliding it up her leg. That was seriously gross and neither of us could figure out why he thought that was a hot thing to do.
Fitzy and Milby are at it again!
1. What five things should you never buy used?
Towels (except beach towels that will only be used on the beach)
Sheets (for use on a bed, not as ghost costumes)
As a general rule, shoes and beds, though I can definitely see exceptions
And finally, underwear
2. Sony BMG just ended a payola investigation by settling with New York Attorney General Elliot Spitzer. So let’s engage in some reverse payola: What song or artist would you pay to never have to hear again, and how much would it be worth to you?
That Rico Suave guy, or maybe the Achy Breaky Heart guy. Either of them.
3. In honor of the new Bad News Bears: Did you ever play little league, or other organized youth sports?
No. I did participate in gymnastics, but my congenital lack of flexibility hampered me from doing well, so I stopped. I did a lot of dancy-type things, which I think are plenty athletic, but they don’t really count as organized youth sports. (I think I did play on my elementary school’s soccer team and volleyball team, but that was almost an extension of PE since we didn’t really have extra practices outside of school.)
4. What was your biggest fashion faux pas?
5. In honor of all our readers who took the Bar Exam this week: What was the hardest test you ever took?
Hell, I don’t know. In college, I had to take two comprehensive exams (one for each major, dontcha know) and those were pretty brutal, but they weren’t HARD, in the sense that there were questions I couldn’t answer, so much as they were long and exhausting. (I think we had something like six, maybe eight hours to complete them. I moved all over campus for the first one, trying to find a place where I could concentrate. I eventually locked myself into a study room in the library and worked for four hours straight there.)
1. Why did you start blogging?
I think I answered these questions once already, like a year ago. But I’ll try and answer them again. Maybe things are different now.
I started blogging in the very first place because it was a cool new thing to do with computers and the internet and I like being an early adopter of cool technology. This is why I’ve been a Blogger user since November of 2001. I blogged for a while, then stopped because I didn’t have anything to focus on, then started back up again.
I started THIS blog to chronicle the law school thing.
2. Are the reasons you blog now the same as when you started? If not, what’s changed?
No, my reasons aren’t the same. I started blogging because technology is cool; I blog now because this is a medium for me to get some writing done (though I seem to be writing shorter and less-well-thought out posts lately, I’m working on that) and also because it is a journaling medium.
3. What would make blogging better for you?
I honestly don’t know. Sometimes blogging would be better for me if I had a constant focus, and that focus provided enough fodder for me to write an entry a day on. That’s not the case right now. Maybe that will change once school starts.
4. Do you have comments on your blog? Why or why not? Do you comment on other blogs? What motivates you to post a comment?
Of COURSE I have comments. I LOVE comments. Comments exist to keep me writing about the right things. And to extend the post into a conversation.
I do comment on other blogs, and for varying reasons. Sometimes I just want to comment on how good a post is, sometimes I want to actually get into the content of the post and debate it a little.
5. What is your philosophy of the blogroll?
The blogroll is my list of blogs I think my readers should check out. Not all the blogs I read are on my blogroll, some I keep to myself. And some blogs I read aren’t on the blogroll YET, but will be soon enough. Since I use Bloglines for my blogroll, I can go through my subscriptions every now and then and see who I’ve been reading and enjoying that I think should go on the roll. Sometimes I go through and notice a blog I subscribed to just to see what their content was really like, but I find I don’t really read it that much or it’s not the kind of blog I thought it was, and I unsubscribe. But none of that takes place on the blogroll. The blogroll is a list of blogs that have already been vetted.
(That’s not to say I love reading all the blogs on my roll. But I think they’re all worth your time, even if just for a glance.)
From the BTQ boys.
1. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?
I usually turn off the light around 11 pm. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later, but generally, around 11. I wake up at 7:30 during the week. On the weekend, it depends on whether or not I have choir or plan to go to the pool or something fun like that. If I sleep in, I might stay in bed as late as 11:00, but I’d say 9:30 or 10:00 is more the average.
2. What do you want done to/with your body after you die?
Haven’t really thought about it, thanks. But I’m not keen on the idea of embalming or of sticking my embalmed body in a hyperbaric chamber under the ground. I do like the idea of cremation; I also like the idea of a green burial.
3. Describe your dream house.
Space for everything without being empty. Cozy without being cluttered. Other than that, I don’t have a lot of requirements. Hardwood floors are nice. So is central air. And a good neighborhood with good schools, but I think that’s a given.
4. Are you an excellent driver? Do you speed, or drive the speed limit? Ever been ticketed?
I’m a pretty good driver. Right after I got my car (after college), I had a string of accidentsÂ—fender-bender type accidenctsÂ—but it’s been years since I hit another car. I have had two speeding tickets ever; the first was fair, the second was not (I was following traffic AND I was on the way to pick up my wedding dress. Cop didn’t care. Totally uncool). In general, I speed a littleÂ—maybe three-to-five miles over the limit on city streets, and no more than 10 over on the highway. I’m not a patient person, remember? Also, if I have any sort of expired stickerÂ—inspection, registrationÂ—I don’t speed at all.
5. What is your favorite animal, mineral, and vegetable?
Animal: puppy, Mr. Angst
Mineral: Is iron a mineral? How about the minerals in our tap water that make my hair so frizzy?
Vegetable: Broccoli, summer squash, asparagus, tomato (I say it’s a veggie, so there), avocado, snow peas, sweet peas….I could go on.
As always, brought to you by Fitz-Hume and Milbarge.
1. Tropical Storm Cindy and Hurricane Dennis are causing trouble in the Southeast this week. Share a natural disaster story.
I grew up on the Gulf Coast, but my hometown hasn’t had a significant hurricane in over 20 years. Still, we always evacuated. I remember the year we took off for my aunt and uncle’s house, seven hours away, and my grandfather bitched about having to leave. For a while, we thought he’d just refuse to get in the car. He insisted he’d be fine just moving his armchair into his bedroom closet. At any rate, we left, had a lovely weekend away, and when the hurricane didn’t actually hit our town, we drove backÂ—through county after county under tornado warnings (result of the hurricane, of course).
There was also the summer I was a camp counselor and it started to rain the day before the end of the session. It rained for 48 hours straight, and I don’t mean drizzle. When we got up on that last morning, when the kids were all supposed to go home, we could see the river from the dining hall. (The riverbank was a good 50 yards from the dining hall and the water level was usually 20 feet below the edge of the bank. That morning, though, the water was right up on ground level.) On the other side of the river…oh, who am I kidding? We couldn’t see the other side of the river for the LAKE that had appeared overnight.
So we had kids who didn’t get home till somewhat late that night because their parents couldn’t get to them because of numerous low water crossings. We had some parents who got as far as the nearby town and got stuck at the last low water crossing before camp. Luckily, one dad had his ENORMOUS truck that was more than capable of making that crossing, so, for a few hours, he ferried kids over to their folks.
2. What is your favorite work of art?
The work that is probably most moving for me is Guernica. I don’t know if that makes it a favorite or not.
3. Do you squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle or the bottom?
From the top when it’s full, the middle when it’s less full, and the bottom when it’s getting empty.
4. What is your favorite “cult” film?
I HATE these “favorites” questions because when you ask, I can’t think of any. Besides, what counts as a cult film? (Besides Evil Dead, but that’s not a favorite of mine. I mean, it’s OK, but not something I want to watch every month or so.) So my answer is I don’t know.
5. Would you go into space if given the chance? Where would you go?
Eh. Maybe. I think I’d probably like to just orbit. If I went into space it would be for the perspective rather than the adventure of it. If we could ever get humans out to where we could look at nebulae and the like, I’d enjoy that.
As always, via BTQ.
1. Is Tom Cruise correct that we’re not alone in the universe?
I really have no idea. On the one hand, I’m reminded of Jodi Foster’s line in Contact (the Carl Sagan movie, and by the way, the book is much more politically interesting than the movie, and I say that as someone who likes to watch that movie at least once a year, and yes, that is kind of sad). Paraphrased, she says, “If we’re alone, it’s an awful waste of space.” And that’s a good point. But I’m also constantly astounded by the remarkable “coincidences” that had to take place for life on Earth to come to be.
For the record, I don’t have trouble reconciling the concept of extraterrestrial life with my faith. But I’m not convinced by the statistical argument (which is the one Tommy boy was using). I think life is more than just the intersection of the right conditions. So there could be life out there, but I don’t believe the sheer size of the universe mandates it.
2. What is a fashion trend that you would like to see go away, and what is a fashion you would like to see come back in style?
God, please take away the knee-length pants trend. I know it’s barely hit the public, but any trend that requires the wearer to have the body of a twelve-year old boy can NOT be good.
I’d like to see that fifties-inspired, nipped-in-waist with flowing skirts thing come back. It was all the rage a few years ago (remember Julianne Moore in Far From Heaven?), and that style looks AWESOME on me. Bring it back!
3. I was going to ask what city will win next week’s vote on the host of the 2012 Olympics, but everyone knows it’s going to be Paris, so I decided to tweak it: What city that you have visited (or lived in) would be a good Olympic host city, and why?
Um, I don’t think I’ve LIVED anywhere that would be a good Olympic host city, except MAYBE New York, and only if they can get their act together and stop whining about things. Visited? I say none. I tend to visit cities that are hugely congested and difficult to get around in (Rome, London) or bucolic and quaint with no real resources for millions of visitors (Florence, Oxford). Man, I need to do some more traveling.
4. Happy Canada Day to our readers in the Great White North! In light of that holiday, and our own upcoming Independence Day, tell us your favorite Independence Day memory. (And yes, those of you in other nations can use whatever national holiday you celebrate.)
Two years ago, Mr. Angst and I went to the upper Midwest for July 4. We watched terrific fireworks over the Mississippi River (and I think there’s another river that intersects up there) and, in general, had a great time. Then we went over to New York City and walked our feet off. LiterallyÂ—Mr. Angst had bleeding blisters-on-blisters.
But that’s not my FAVORITE July 4 memory, of course. My favorite memory is of July 4, 2000, when I MET Mr. Angst at a party. I was in the pool, he and his friend had their feet dipped in the water, his friend flipped me off, it was great fun. (Really, it was. Someone tried to surf in the pool and nearly took someone else’s head off.) But the real point is that I met Mr. Angst on July 4. We didn’t start dating right away, but we’d met. The rest, as they say, is history.
5. The Supreme Court ruled this week on one set of commandments, but we want to hear yours. What are the Ten Commandments of [X]? Pick a topic and reveal its ten most important rules. Phrasings with “shalt” appreciated but not required.
How about the Ten Commandments of the Workplace?
- Thou shalt not micromanage thy employees.
- Thou shalt not tell inappropriate jokes to thy co-workers, no matter how understanding thou thinkest they are.
- Thou shalt not offer fun summer events and then cancel them at the last minute.
- Thou shalt not coerce uninterested employees into being on committees they are not interested in.
- Thou shalt pay well.
- Thou shalt offer reasonable amounts of vacation time.
- Thou shalt not question thy employees when they take sick days. Have faith in thy employees and thou shalt be rewarded ten-hundredfold.
- Thou shalt keep thy employees informed of network outages that are critical to their job performance.
- Thou shalt endeavor to keep the soda machine full of diet offerings when thy department is more than 3/4 female.
- Smile daily.
(Disclaimer: all commandments are fictional and any similarity to the author’s workplace implied by said commandments is purely coincidental.)
In case you’re wondering, yes, we do consider it our fate to wander the Earth like Caine from “Kung Fu,” doling out insipid questions so we’ll have something to blog about. This week’s wisdom, channelled via meditation from Master Po:
1. What’s your favorite season?
Spring in Texas. With wildflowers and perfect temperatures and mornings that aren’t too early, but yet are early enough to wake you up in the morning with the light glinting between the blinds. And evenings that aren’t too early but early enough that you can enjoy a warm, breezy sunset right after dinner, while you drink a glass of wine.
2. Do you have a green thumb?
3. What is your favorite sport to watch? What is your favorite sport to play? Do you have a sports hero?
I absolutely love to watch college football. Preferably in person. (Not such a fan of any sports on TV, unfortunately.) I generally enjoy playing any sport as long as there’s no expectation that I will be any good, and I’m not playing with people who might hurt me because they’re so much bigger than me. (This is why I don’t play in the family “touch” football game at our fall family reunion. The men in the family are too competitive and way too much bigger than me.) I don’t really have a sports hero.
4. Which would you rather be: Mayor, Governor, Senator, or President?
Didn’t we already discuss this at E. Spat’s?
Ok, I’ll do it again.
- At least one piece of really good furniture that you purchased for yourself, that wasn’t handed down from someone in your family. Maybe your first good bed, or a beautiful antique side tableÂ—buy it yourself.
- The perfect little black dress that fits just right in all the right places.
- A really excellent hairstylist who knows how to work with your hair and what will complement your face.
- A simple-to-make but fantastic-tasting recipe suitable for all kinds of companyÂ—family, a date, girlfriends.
- Speaking of girlfriends, have a bunch, but make sure you’ve got at least one that you can call when you need to bitch and on whose shoulder you can cry.
- A doctor you trust and like. Staying healthy is so important.
- A really good pair of tweezers. Yes, they make a huge difference.
- Good cookware. Yes, it also makes a huge difference.
- A library card. Everyone should have one of these, in fact, single or not, female or not. Being well-read is important.
- A sense of humor and a willingness to laugh at yourself.
What are you talking about? I’m not a man. Why would I know what a single man needs? I’ll leave this list to someone else.
Ladies and gents, another round…
1. Which relationship will last longer, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (“Brangelina”), or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (“TomKat”)?
I hope Brangelina, but the way the world hates me, TomKat will live far beyond the limited life it deserves. I really dislike Tom Cruise.
2. Less importantly, which will have nuclear bombs first, North Korea or Iran?
North Korea. They suck.
3. What is your dream car?
RIght now, anything with a working air conditioner (though for the weekend, I’m perfectly happy without A/C or a car, being in Our New City with its wonderful weather.
More seriously, I’d love an Acura TSX.
4. What book have you read the most times?
Alice in Wonderland? The Diary of a Young Girl? The Once and Future King? Any of the Narnia books? The Susan Cooper series, The Dark is Rising? This is totally hard to answer, because I reread books a lot.
5. Are you a matchmaker?
Not one little bit. I don’t even bother anymore when people ask if I have single friends.
Without fanfare, here are Friday’s questions, courtesy BTQ:
1. What is the earliest movie you remember watching in the theater?
Honestly? Triumph of the Ewoks. (Oh, wait, that wasn’t the name of that movie? You want to know what’s saddest about the fact that this was the first movie I clearly recall seeing in the theater? It was the fact that, besides the Ewoks, of course, the biggest thing I remember was Luke and Leia finding out they were siblings. Isn’t that a weird thing to remember?)
2. If you could strike one word from the English language, which word would you choose and why?
See, you ask these questions, but I never can come up with these sorts of answers on the spot. I’d be more likely to scream out a shitty word while driving in traffic or watching Everybody Loves Raymond. Still, I guess I should pull an answer out of…somewhere. How about smegma?
3. If you were a superhero, what would be your kryptonite?
Bad grammar? Putting apostrophes after plural non-possessives? Misspelling the name of a major award?
4. Would you rather win an Emmy, Grammy, Tony, Golden Globe, Oscar, Pulitzer, or Noble Prize? What work would you win it for?
I want the Noble Prize. For being noble in the face of overwhelming opportunities to cat on someone or something for doing something tacky. Or for using bad grammar. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I’ll rack up a tremendous record of NOT snarking on people for inflicting me with bad grammar, poorly used apostrophes, and misspellings. And my nobility will impress the world and they’ll give me the Noble Prize.
5. What is your catch phrase? Don’t have one? Then make one up!
Well, at work, they used to think it was, “I can live with that,” but I was asked to stop saying that because it sounded “negative.”
Via Fitz-Hume and Milbarge, who proffered this lame excuse for the late questions: “Alarms didn’t go off, snooze buttons were hit, people overslept. It happens. I apologize for the delay, but the upside is that readers contributed all of this week’s questions. Enjoy!”
1. From Janie Q: “How about your favorite tv show when you were a kid, and why hasn’t it been remade into a movie, or if it has, how was that movie, or maybe it shouldn’t be remade at all?”
Hee! Favorite show as a kid? The Dukes of Hazzard. I am sad to say that it, however, is being made into a movie, a very wrong movie with a very wrong, ever-shrinking, dumb blonde portraying the savvy, brunette Daisy. Phooey on them, I say!
2. Stag asks: “Tell us about your favorite vacation or your fav place to go on vacation.”
I covered this one in my essentials post, and those choices still stand.
Hadn’t seen it till now, but it looks like something I could become fond of, if I had time to add a cartoon to my daily dose of blogs and news.
4. Sebastian Haff has a burning desire to know: “[Which] celebrities [do] you think are most likely to pose in Playboy and why[?]“
I’m searching my brain for the names of B-list actresses who will jump on the “it’s all for my career” bandwagon and pose for Hugh. But I’m coming up short. I will say this, thoughÂ—despite the hopes of a million dirty old men, the Olsen twins are never going to pose for Playboy. They’ve already got more money than God, so there’s no incentive. Sorry.
5. Energy Spatula gets to the heart of the matter with the final question for the week: “Why don’t you write about which one [Fitz-Hume or Milbarge] is a huge liar?”
You know, this is a good question. First, we have FH’s deliberate misrepresentation of himself as a metrosexual when, in fact, he’s just a good old boy who likes to shovel some s**t. And Milbarge? With his “oh, I CAN’T blog anymore, I just CAN’T, and I CAN’T tell you why!” but then coming back two months later? I think they’re both full of it.